The Secret Sisterhood of Heartbreakers by Lynn Weingarten

Author:Lynn Weingarten
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Harper Collins, Inc.
Published: 2011-12-26T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Sixteen

Hours later, Lucy lay in bed, cheek pressed to her purple flower pillow, brain stretching, skull pounding, as though her head had eaten an enormous meal that it did not know how to digest.

So much had happened at the party, but that’s not what she was thinking about.

She was not thinking about the way Colin had looked at her, while girls all over the party were staring at him, which he seemed not to notice. Or how a guy had started hitting on her while she was in the bathroom line (which incidentally Colin had seen and was probably the reason for his hasty exit, which Lucy actually felt a tiny bit bad about). Or about how three separate guys had asked for her phone number. Or how funny it had been to be a ray of sunshine for the dude in the I’LL STOP FROWNING WHEN THE WORLD STOPS SUCKING T-shirt. And then moments later to be a very deep and introspective wallflower for the perky party host.

She wasn’t even thinking about the wonderful moment when Olivia dropped her back at home and said that the next night they had something “really special in store for her,” in a way that felt like a promise. A promise that meant something.

No.

What Lucy was thinking about, lying in her bed, as the sun came up on that early Saturday morning, a day that was supposed to be her first day as a nonvirgin, her first time waking up in a bed curled against Alex, was this:

Everything she’d done during her entire relationship with Alex had been wrong. Starting with that first googly-eyed look she gave him, right up until yesterday at school.

The problem wasn’t that she’d loved him too much; it was that she hadn’t loved herself enough. She’d never really understood why he liked her. She tried to be a nice person, and Tristan said she was smart and funny, but Alex was Alex.

So to make up for the great distance between what she was and what he was, well, she just ended up doing whatever he wanted all the time, complimenting him constantly, and telling him over and over how he was the most wonderful person the world had ever known.

She’d been his biggest fan.

But he didn’t need a fan.

Looking back now, she realized he’d often shrugged off her compliments the way one might do with those of an overly doting aunt.

He wanted the world to be more interesting and exciting. What he was looking for was not a soft place to land, but a cliff to jump from and someone to fly through the air after.

Suddenly Lucy knew that with such intensity that she sat straight up in bed, heart pounding.

She could be the lurch, the tingle, the breathless feeling of hurtling into vast empty space. She could be that free fall. Starting now.

Lucy reached for her phone; she had an idea.

She wrote a text.

Alan, great meeting you too. Sneaking in tonight was fun, but if you think that’s crazy just you wait.

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